Tuesday, August 23, 2016


Nowadays, 70% of all divorces are initiated by the wives.  There are certainly many reasons for that but it is an interesting statistic in our time.

You can't be a student of the Scripture and think God doesn't hate divorce.  He clearly does.

I don't have any Evangelical friends who thinks a spouse has to continue to live with a physically abusive partner.  But moving to safety is different than divorce.  I personally think there are New Testament Scriptures that allow for divorce but not necessarily for re-marriage.  But the Scriptures that would appear to allow for divorce are few in number - very few.

In my experience the big problem is POST DIVORCE; having gotten divorced are you not now free to remarry?  And therein lies the rub.

A few things to keep in mind:

The divorce rate for second marriages is higher than first marriages.  The divorce rate for third marriages is higher than for second marriages.

Whoever you marry next, you'll be dragging your baggage and weaknesses into the new relationship.  If you have a weakness for abusive men, the odds are good you hook up with another abusive male - though it may appear different on the surface.

If you have a weakness for addictive men, you'll likely trade your first addict in for a second addict, just addiction of a different kind.

If you have young children, the odds of your next spouse sexually abusing them is signifcantly higher than the children's biological father abusing them.

The pool of semi-healthy, marriageable men or women who are divorced themselves is very, very tiny.  If you're a woman post 40 years of age, you'd better be extremely attractive/bright or earning a good income, otherwise the odds are actually against you re-marrying.  If you're making good money [ or even just decent money], there's plenty of divorced,  winsome males who'll be glad to marry you.  They're looking for a sugar Momma.  You'll earn, they'll spend. They'll break your heart; again.

And then there's the "newly divorced promiscuous phase" where one is trying to re-capture a sense of self esteem by falling into bed with any guy/gal who'll treat you decently for a moment. Did you know you can be 43, newly divorced and get pregnant on the first date regardless of how sexually pure your life has been up til then?  It's a little awkward to explain that to your ladies Sunday School class. 

BOTTOM LINE: the post divorce options [ staying single and alone or entering into a second or third troubled marriage after the ugly dating phase] are not pleasant to contemplate.

Readers, you may need to physically leave a dangerous situation, but you do NOT have to get a divorce.  If your spouse is the sociopath you think they are, they'll quickly latch onto another partner, live with them and in the process give you Biblical grounds for divorce.  But even then, maintaining a legal marriage though seperated, can provide a degree of psychological and emotional protection from jumping into another deeply troubled relationship [ and that's the betting odds.].

NOTE: I've known a lot of divorcing women who swore they'd never re-marry - but they did, most of them painfully in the long run.  Men, on the other hand, generally intend to remarry but they'll also find it challenging at the very least, if not impossible. 

 It's not good to marry a man or a women who hates their "ex."  You'll pay for that mistake.

FINALLY: Beware the advice you find in the posts and comments of Wartburg Watch.  Much of it will not be well thought out.  From the feminist perspective, men are the root of the problem, women's sinfulness is negligible in comparison.  If that's your perspective, all future relationships with the opposite sex will be painful and bitter.